Fix What's Broken
by whatfangirlwhere
Summary: Gilbert knows something's wrong with him, no one comes to the group unless there is, but there's something about Alfred that makes him want to learn, to get close to him, and then quite possibly he'll learn to let someone get close to him too. PruAme.
1. 1

"Hey, boys, can I have your attention? We have a newcomer today, he's waiting outside because I wanted to make sure you guys knew he was coming first."

Gilbert looked up, his interest piqued-they're group had stuck together for a long time now, at least since Gilbert had been there, and they'd never had a new person. They usually didn't, they stuck together by age and he didn't think there was anyone else at school who would fit the profile, he knew most of the loners and outcasts of the school. Liz, their counselor (and also an old flame of Gilbert's, although neither spoke of it), waited for a moment to make sure no one would was going to do or say anything before she nodded and walked to the door, poking her head out with a smile.

"Come on in, Alfred, dear, let's introduce you to everyone. Alfred was just referred to us by the hospital, and he's just starting therapy so be nice, okay?"

Gilbert looked the boy up and down as surreptitiously as he could, surprised at what he saw-a lanky frame, definitely a good head taller than himself, tanned skin and long fingers that were currently fidgetting with something around his wrists, and Gilbert understood immediately-just like him. Maybe not exactly like, but close, and he looked up, surprised to see previous lowered gaze meeting his own, entranced by the brilliance of the blue eyes. The enchantment was broken, however,when the gaze immediately lowered again, and he saw the boy rubbing at his wrists more, and he understood. He wasn't upset about what happened, he was upset about being caught, put in the spotlight-Gilbert understood that, he'd been the same way, having everyone find out and being looked at with too much pity, and shaking of heads. He crossed his arms, watching the blond shuffle over to his seat, sweatpants riding low on his hips under his shirt (too small, certainly not his own, it was too tight, not that Gilbert was complaining), broad shoulders slumping as he sat down. He was intrigued by this newcomer, and there was a nagging at the back of his mind, he knew this boy-oh, Alfred! Alfred Jones-brother of Matthew Williams, the boy he'd dated once briefly their freshman year, a real cutie. He'd heard something about their family splitting, but no one ever mentioned another brother. They only knew he existed, but he didn't see how anyone could forget him, the boy was honestly stunning even in Gilbert's eyes. He didn't claim to be chaste, hell he'd banged his way through plenty of people, it's how he'd managed to be shunned, but he pretended not to mind. Sex felt good, it was one of his vices-and he would certainly not mind banging this boy. He realized he'd zoned out for most of the beginning of the therapy, shaking his head as he heard snickering, Liz looking at him sternly.

"Gil, could you please pay attention-it's your turn, to give us an update."

"Oh." Gilbert shrugged, leaning his chair onto its back legs, earning him a disapproving "tut" from Liz. "Nothing new to report, yer majesty. Life is still shit, and I still think you have a rather hot ass-"

"That's enough, Gilbert, thank you." Liz huffed, shaking her head and making a small note on her clipboard, turning to Alfred who was next to her (the newbie seat), smile making its way back onto her face. "Alfred, how about you? Tell us about yourself a bit, we do weekly updates, to try and see how you're doing, so we can talk through it."

"Ah…" Alfred's voice was nothing like he'd imagined, not as soft as Matthew's even with how quietly he was speaking, it was a bit rougher and deeper, and yet not at the same time, it held an almost childish quality to it, a child who'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "I…I'm here because my teacher caught me in the bathroom, w-with a…a pen knife."

There was no gasp of surprise or disgust on anyone's face, just a nod of understanding or-Gilbert's least favorite, pity. And it didn't seem like Alfred was rather fond of it either, judging by the way he looked down again, his fingers once again playing with the white bandages on his wrist. Liz reached over, stalling his movements, but Alfred didn't look up this time.

"It's alright, dear, we're here to help you. Why don't you tell us what happened, hm, dear? Why would you do such a thing."

"Ah…" Alfred didn't say anything, shaking his head, and no one was surprised-people never opened up the first day and some, like Gilbert, never did. Liz just nodded, patting his hand comfortingly.

"It's alright, Alfred, you don't have to speak now, just know that when you're ready we're all here."

Gilbert snorted, and Liz shot him a stern look, so he just raised his hands in surrender, keeping quiet the rest of the therapy session, deciding to study the other silent member of their group instead. Alfred had a very odd demeanor, he looked like the kind of kid who belonged on a football field, or in advanced classes, with everyone falling at his feet. He was curious to know how the boy had ended up here, like this, it just didn't seem fair to him. This kid deserved to have that apple pie life-didn't his brother know what he was going through? Well, no-his brother hadn't known either, but that's because his brother was off to college. Matthew and Alfred went to the same school, so of course they would see each other, talk and hang out and all that sappy shit, didn't they? The moment Liz dismissed them Gilbert stood up, intending to catch the kid, at least introduce himself, but Alfred had all but ran from the room, and by the time Gilbert got outside he had already gotten into a red pickup truck and it pulled away, but he noticed blue eyes flashing up into the mirror as it drove off.

—

"Hey, Birdie."

A hush fell over the table as Gilbert spoke, wrinkling his nose as the other hockey players looked up at him, Matthew taking a moment before he seemed to recognize a voice, freezing briefly before he turned. His violet eyes were filled with confusion, a bit of irritation, but he simply sighed softly.

"What do you need, Gilbert?"

"I need to talk to you." Gilbert said, glaring at the other young men who were making little jibes and sneering at him, but Matthew just looked at him, another soft little sigh escaping his mouth as he nodded and stood up.

"Alright, but one minute, understand? I'm only giving you a chance."

"Because I was that good in bed?" he teased, and Matthew flushed, whacking his shoulder.

"We never-you're going to make me regret my decision to give you a chance, Gil."

"Yeah, yeah, okay, don't get your boxers in a bunch." Gilbert said, chuckling as they walked over to the drinking fountains where there was empty space,the albino crossing his arms and looking at him. "I wanted to talk about your brother."

"My brother? You mean Alfred?" Matthew frowned, his eyebrows furrowing and a troubled look crossing his face. "What do you want to know about Alfred? I didn't think you knew him."

"I didn't-well, okay, I didn't before, but I met him yesterday." Gilbert waved his hand a bit. "In the most unlikely place, did you know your brother was going to the shrink?"

"What?" Matthew's lips parted to form a little "o" of surprise, and then he shook his head. "We-we haven't much lately, since Mom and Dad split, I kinda lost track of him, I don't see him, he hasn't been hanging around any of his friends anymore. What's wrong?"

"I don't know, that's why I was going to ask you-well, I know _what's _wrong with him, but I want to know _why_."

"Well-probably just Mom and Dad's divorce, he was pretty broken up about it. He didn't want to be split up." Matthew said, nibbling at his lip, and Gilbert shook his head.

"It needs to be something more than that, Birdie, people don't do that shit to themselves over a divorce! What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know, Gilbert! If I knew would I be talking to you right now, I'd be with Alfred instead."

"Yeah, sure, 'cause you've obviously been trying to be there for him." Gilbert snorted, and Matthew gave him a light glare.

"What do you care? Before yesterday you didn't even know him."

"Because-I just do, Mattie, okay?" Gilbert huffed-he couldn't explain it, something about the boy's demeanor and situation bothered him, but he didn't want to try and explain that to Matthew. "Besides, I just…don't like seeing the kid like that, a kid like that should be smiling not lookin' like he's gonna cry half the time."

"Gilbert-oh my god, please don't tell me you're crushing on my brother." Matthew said, eyes narrowing a bit, and Gilbert snorted indignantly.

"I didn't say that!"

"I know you, Gil-you take someone, make them think they're the world to you, and then you screw them and dump them on their ass. I'm not letting you do that to my brother, so you can just forget it."

"Hey, give me more credit than that, Birdie, like you said we never did the deed, and I've stayed with people for long periods of time before." Gilbert retorted, crossing his arms again. "And I never said I was crushing on him!"

"You never show interest in anyone unless you want them in your bed, Gil." Matthew shook his head. "Like I said, you can forget it. Stay away from my brother, if he's as bad as you say he obviously doesn't need you to make him worse!"

Matthew gave him one last stern look before he turned and walked back to the lunchroom, and Gilbert watched him go, glaring at him sulkily. He certainly didn't have any intention to crush on Alfred-but granted, he was gorgeous, and stunning, but he was mostly just curious about what had made his clock tick out of kilter. He turned to walk away to his usual hideout in the theater for a smoke when he noticed a glimpse of blonde hair, and then a soft gasp and the scuttling of feet down the hall. When he ran after he noticed the baggy red sweatshirt as Alfred ran off back down the hallway toward the boy's bathroom, and remembering what Alfredhad said back at therapy Gilbert followed, opening the door with a bang.

"Hey, kid, what are you doing-"

"Ah! Please, g-go away!"

Gilbert looked over, noticing the wide blue eyes trained on him for once, not down at worn sneakers, and arms held out in front of him, Alfred's sleeve riding up a bit and he noticed the boy had been tearing a this bandages, trying to rip them off, the red beginning to dot the white fabric. He swore, moving forward, reaching out to grab the younger's wrist, but Alfred pulled it back again, shaking his head.

"Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you or anything, Alfred, I promise."

"I….I-I know, but please go away! I heard you talking to Mattie, you just want t-to bed me."

"Do you really think that?" Alfred nodded meekly and Gilbert sighed, shaking his head and rubbing the back of his neck, hesitating before he stepped a bit closer, noticing Alfred stepping back a bit but he just pressed onward, even as Alfred was pressed back against the wall. He stopped, though, sighing and looking down, shrugging off one shoulder of his leather jacket, pulling up the sleeve of the plaid shirt he wore underneath, lifting his arm up to show Alfred. The blond gasped softly at the little circular scars on the pale skin, his hand reaching out but then he drew it back again. Gilbert smiled wryly, shaking his head, extending his arm a bit more.

"It's okay, you can touch them, they don't bother me." He whispered, and Alfred bit his lip, but then he brushed his fingers lightly over them, gasping softly.

"Wh-what…?" Alfred breathed, looking up at him, and Gilbert sighed, shaking his head, chuckling sadly.

"Cigarette burns, kiddo. A bit more imaginitive than yours, but same concept, smoking one day and accidentally did it, realized it helped kinda, or at least I told myself it did."

"Oh…" Alfred nodded, his gaze dropping down to the bandages on his own wrists, fingers brushing against them, and Gilbert nodded, pulling his sleeve back down, taking the bandages and wrapping them around Alfred's wrist without even really thinking about it. The boy was quiet as he did so, simply watching him, but then he spoke up.

"…so why would you help me? I-I'm not just gonna, y'know…sleep with you like that."

"I don't want you to, kiddo-jeez, that's not all I want from people, y'know." Gilbert said, huffing, patting the newly wrapped bandages. "Now how about we get out of this bathroom, hm? Tell you what, I'm gonna go have a smoke, and maybe tomorrow I'll meet up with you for lunch, okay? Usually I eat alone, but I can make an exception."

"Ah….maybe." Alfred whispered, shrugging a bit, but Gilbert just smiled and patted his shoulder.

"You don't have to, just an idea, okay, Al? You lemme know." He took his hand, about to kiss the top mock-gallantly, but then pressing the kiss to the top of the bandage instead, smiling at him before he turned and walked out of the bathroom, smile widening a bit when he heard the door open again a moment later and footsteps halting briefly before they retreated back down the hall again


	2. 2

"So, Alfred, do you have anything for us today?"

Another week, another group therapy session, and Gilbert was just as bored as always. Well, perhaps that wasn't entirely true, because something was different, a blue gaze that occasionally lifted slightly to meet his from across the circle. He smiled and noticed the gaze dropping again, but he was pleased to note ears going slightly pink, and Alfred's lips parting briefly before he shook his head, fingers toying with the frayed edges of his sweatshirt cuffs. Gilbert knew there weren't any bandages underneath anymore the scars still remained, little pink lines that only served as a reminder that he knew all too well was more painful than helpful or cautionary. Alfred had joined him for lunch the next day, as he'd asked, but he didn't talk much, only nods and an occasional "yeah" or "mmhm", but it was still nice to have someone to eat with at his little table at the edge of the cafeteria. Matthew hadn't spoken to him again, although he'd seen him trying to talk to Alfred the next morning but the other hadn't said much, looked down at his feet mostly while Matthew tried to talk at him, and Matthew looked more upset than when he'd began by the time he finally gave up and walked away. Still, Alfred joined him for lunch every day since then, and now it had been several weeks and they had a careful camaraderie, and Gilbert had begun to realize that not only did he have a crush on the boy, the boy might have been starting to have feelings for him too.

"No, Miss, I don't have much to say." Alfred said quietly to the group, and Gilbert noticed when he looked up slightly his eyes met Gilbert's alone, he wouldn't look up at anyone else. Liz noticed it too, Gilbert could see her watching them, but she just smiled softly and nodded.

"You mentioned your brother last week, how is he?"

"Ah, w-we….haven't talked much since then, other than a quick greeting every now and then. We don't talk much anymore, we have…d-different friends these days, and Dad always picks me up right away."

"Your father worries for you, perhaps?" Liz said, and Alfred just shrugged, Gilbert noticed the way his nose wrinkled a bit as he looked back down again.

"Ah, yeah, you could say that."

Liz waited to see if he would go on, but Alfred was quiet after that, and so she just sighed softly and nodded, moving on to the next person. Gilbert spent the rest of the meeting as he had been recently, studying Alfred's face, his expressions, every little change and furrow of his brow, as whatever thoughts ran through his head at any moment in time. Alfred was an open book if you knew how to read his expressions, and Gilbert wanted to be an expert-and that was just it, he realized, he wanted nothing more than to learn everything there was to learn about Alfred, to have the boy talk to him every day and be able to come to him instead of a knife with his problems. He sulked down at his feet, toeing the carpet with worn combat boots in frustration-of course he'd have to get a crush on Alfred, exactly like Matthew had thought he would, and he knew the other wouldn't trust him if he learned, but Gilbert had only the best intentions in mind. Same as when he'd dated Matthew briefly, he wanted only to be with him, to hold him and be sappy and shit, but his reputation preceded him and he knew that. He looked up again, pleasantly surprised to see the blond was the one looking at him this time, and it sent a little thrill of hope through him. After the meeting Alfred tried to bolt as he usually did, but Gilbert was faster, and he reached out, touching his arm lightly, the taller starting and turning to look at him. Gilbert raised his hands above his head, smiling.

"Hey, don't worry, kiddo, just me."

"Oh…hello." Alfred said softly, and Gilbert just chuckled, nodding.

"Yeah, hey there, Al-listen, I was wondering if you'd like to hang out, maybe go to the mall or something? You look like a guy who hasn't been out much, and I've got time to kill and an interest in a certain kid with the prettiest eyes I've ever seen, so what'd you say, hm?"

Alfred simply stared at him for a long moment, and Gilbert was starting to regret asking at the almost panicked look on the boys face, but then he surprised him by glancing out the door and nodding.

"Maybe this weekend, i-if you're not busy. Dad doesn't like me going out on school nights, I've gotta finish my homework."

Gilbert wrinkled his nose, fighting the urge to pout at the younger, but he didn't want to cause him problems with his father and risk not getting to hang out with him, and so he nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, okay, I guess I should let you do your homework-but this weekend, okay? You better not jilt me, cutie, promise you'll be there?"

Alfred nodded, and Gilbert's heart skipped a beat-and he'd thought that was only romance novel bullshit, but he swore it did-as a smile curved those lips up slightly.

"Promise, I-" Alfred jumped at the sound of a horn honking from outside, the smile instantly fading as he looked out. "I've gotta go, I'll see you." he said quickly, not waiting for a response before he ran out of the building. Gilbert waited until he was sure he was gone before he grinned, pumping a fist in the air and cheering silently to himself. He heard a soft chuckle, turning, his cheeks turning the slightest pink when he saw Liz standing there.

"What're you laughing at?" He said, huffing, and she just smiled, shaking her head, arms crossed and green eyes filled with what he could only pinpoint as almost pride, in a way.

"Just happy for you. He's a nice kid, but I hope you know what you're doing here because he's also barely holding it together, and you have to be careful. It's my job to see these kind of things, and maybe I should be telling you to stay away, but…I'm willing to let you try, because I know you, Gilbert-"

"-quite well, actually, I remember that one time in your office-"

"-_and_ I know that while you act like an arrogant ass you also have a good heart, and that you might need someone just as much as he does" Liz finished, giving him a look as Gilbert snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Don't give me that shrink crap right now, Lizzie, okay?"

"I'm not saying it as your psychiatrist, Gilbert, I'm saying this as your friend." Liz said softly, looking at him, and Gilbert just sulked back, but he shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, kicking his feet a bit.

"It's not like it matters much anyway, I doubt he'll wanna be with me, I mean who wants a boyfriend who's as crazy as you are? Besides, his brother will kick my ass if I so much as touch him."

"Knowing you, you'll tempt that theory anyway." Liz replied, and Gilbert didn't like the slightly smug look on her face, she knew she was right and oh Gilbert both loved and hated that part of her. He huffed, turning and walking down the hall.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you'd like to think-see you at the next session, your highness."

"Good luck with the cutie, Gilbert." She called after him, laughing and shaking her head as Gilbert flipped her off over his shoulder, hoping she'd done the right thing encouraging him, but somehow she couldn't help but think it was.

—

Gilbert waited at the main entrance of the mall, shuffling his feet nervously-no, not nervous, totally not nervous. So maybe he hadn't been on a date in awhile, and maybe he was actually concerned about screwing something up, Alfred was as Liz had said rather fragile and while he was super adorable he was also not the type to go straight to the bed, and Gilbert had almost forgotten how go at such a slow pace, to actually just have one person who would stay by you. He'd told Alfred the day before at lunch to meet him there at noon, and Gilbert had been waiting since eleven thirty (what if Alfred showed up early, he couldn't bear Alfred thinking he'd not shown up), but even though it was past one at this point he hadn't moved. Alfred was probably just late, that had to be it, maybe he'd forgotten or slept in (those meds did that sometimes, Gilbert knew, made you sleep a lot, he'd slept in plenty of times)-and maybe he was just convincing him that Alfred would show up when he knew that maybe he just didn't want to, maybe he had decided he couldn't trust Gilbert after all. Gilbert huffed, kicking the post he was sitting on with his heels sulkily-he'd wanted Alfred to open up to him, that's why he'd shared the one weakness he had with him, but maybe Alfred didn't agree. He hopped off the post, pacing across the pavement, not wanting to leave but at the same time he didn't want to keep waiting if Alfred never showed. After another fifteen minutes he was about to grudgingly head back to his car when he heard a soft "Gil?" and light panting, turning to see Alfred running up to him, cheeks a bit flushed.

"S-sorry, I-I had to walk, Dad didn't wanna drive me so I kinda had to sneak out and walk…"

"You walked all the way here? Geez, Al, you didn't have to do that all for me, we could've just rescheduled." Gilbert said, looking at him and waling over to him, putting his hands on his shoulders as Alfred just shook his head and gave him a weak smile.

"And leave you waiting? No, I couldn't do that, n-not after you invited me out with you, that would be rude." He said, shrugging and looking down at his feet. "Thank you, for…for inviting me, by the way. I mean, there's lots of other people you could hang out with, but you're spending your time with me instead."

"There's no one else I'd rather spend it with today, Alfred." Gilbert said, smiling and patting his shoulder, looping his arm around it casually as he led him through the doors of the mall. Alfred just flushed, and Gilbert chuckled at the wide eyed look on his face, confusion and a bit of excitement, Gilbert bet he hadn't been out in weeks at least, probably longer knowing how he had been, hell he hardly went out these days either except to get smashed or something, and that wasn't that often anymore.

"So, ah, what did you wanna do? I-I mean, I'm open to anything, if you wanna just walk around and stuff." Alfred said after a moment, and Gilbert was honestly surprised that he'd spoken first, he'd hardly been able to get Alfred to say a word all week. Maybe it was because they were out, not that Gilbert was complaining in the slightest, he was glad Alfred had actually showed up.

"How about we go eat? I bet all that walking's got you hungry." Gilbert said, smiling, adding in a mock stern voice. "And you didn't have to do that, you know, walking all the way here, how far do you live?"

"Ah, n-not that far, don't worry, just a few miles." Alfred said, shrugging a bit and flushing a bit, the flush deepening as his stomach growled a bit.

"How about we get something to eat, then? My treat, for making you walk all the way here just to see me."

"Ah, n-no, you don't have to!" Alfred stammered, but Gilbert just smiled and shook his head, wrapping his arm around his shoulders more and leading him toward the elevator.

"Nope, it's final, I'm buying you lunch and I won't take no for an answer! Now, what do you want today, hm?"

"Ah, I dunno, I mean….I haven't had a good burger in ages." Alfred mumbled, flushing a bit deeper, not used to being doted on, he didn't now what to think of this Gilbert-although that was the reason he was here, wasn't it? Because he was just so curious about the boy who'd been watching him so closely, who'd actually thought he was worth spending a saturday out with. Gilbert just nodded, grinning as he steered him into the elevator and hit one of the buttons.

"Right, we'll go to one of the good places here-no Mc D's for you, kid, we're getting you something better."

"Really, you don't have to go through all that trouble." Alfred said quietly, but Gilbert pretended not to hear, leading him to the A and W that was in the food court of the mall, letting Alfred choose whatever he wanted, the boy's eyes lighting up as he carried his tray to the table, Gilbert chuckling as he started eating, a smile on his lips that seemed far brighter and true than the others he'd seen so far.

"You should do that more often." He blurted without thinking, Alfred's burger stopping halfway to his mouth, head cocking a bit curiously.

"Huh?"

Gilbert's cheeks went a bit pink and he looked down at his cheese curds, shrugging and picking one up, pretending to look at it rather intensely just so he wouldn't have to look up into those brilliant cerulean eyes.

"Smile. You should smile like that more often, it's…amazing." he mumbled, glancing up and was surprised to note Alfred's cheeks were bright red, the younger taking a bite of his burger to try and hide it.

"It's not that exciting." He said, and Gilbert shook his head, looking up at him.

"It is, the way your face lights up-it's wonderful, a lot better than how sad you look these days. I've never seen you smile like that." He added, noticing Alfred biting his lip and setting down his burger and backtracking. "I mean, it's just nice to see you smile, y'know, I haven't seen it much since we met."

"Oh…well, there's just not a lot to smile about these days, I guess." Alfred murmured, and Gilbert felt his heart swell with an emotion he couldn't quite put words to, and before he could stop himself he reached across the table, taking Alfred's hand in his own and squeezing it, smiling.

"Then we've gotta find reasons for you to smile, cutie. Come on, finish your burger, I've got an idea."

Alfred looked at him, looking a bit apprehensive and confused, but he just nodded and finished eating, Gilbert managing to get short bits of conversation from him and that was an accomplishment in itself. When they were done Gilbert led him back down to the first floor, Alfred trailing after him like an (adorable) little puppy, looking around at everything, and then a smile bigger even than the last split his face when he saw where Gilbert had brought him.

"Rides! I used to love this place as a kid, I used to drag Mattie on all the rides." Alfred exclaimed, and Gilbert started to worry when he saw a slightly dark look pass over the kid's face, but he shook it off tugging on Gilbert's arm, the smile still on his face. "Let's go ride something! Come on!"

Gilbert laughed as Alfred pulled him over to the counter to get their wristbands (Alfred insisted on buying his own, and Gilbert let him, not wanting to break this fragile moment of happiness), and then he pulled him over to ride after ride. Gilbert pretended not to notice how casually Alfred would just grab onto his hand to get his attention, or to pull him along, and he thought it was sweet how Alfred clung onto him on the roller coaster (that Alfred said he could totally do but ended up screaming, despite how puny Gilbert thought the ride honestly was), and by the time they finally walked back over to the actual mall area he heard a noise that sounded like the sweetest music-Alfred was laughing.

"Oh, wow, that was really fun, wasn't it? I liked the swings the best, they actually feel like you're flying, they were always my favorite!" He said, another peal of laughter spilling from his lips and Gilbert forgot to even respond for a moment, swept up in the wonder that was Alfred Jones.

"Yeah, it was great, I'm glad you liked it, cutie." Gilbert finally said, smiling as Alfred blushed sweetly, the smile still on his face, and he hoped it would stay for awhile. But after a couple minutes of walking in comfortable silence he heard someone shout Alfred's name, and they both turned, Alfred freezing, and Gilbert put a hand on his arm instinctively.

"Alfred, dude, didn't expect to see you here." One of the boys said, and Gilbert noticed Matthew at the back of the group, so silent he almost hadn't noticed him. Alfred just swallowed, his gaze dropping back down to his sneakers, reverting in an instant to the humble, broken state.

"I….I just…Gilbert invited me." Alfred said quietly, and Gilbert wrapped his fingers around his arm, nodding.

"Yep, and we're actually just heading to the bathroom so if you guys would excuse us-"

"So you'll go with this loser instead of us? Dude, we tried inviting you out for weeks after you got out of the hospital, but you won't even hang with us at lunch anymore." The boy said, looking at him, crossing his arms over his chest. Alfred winced at the words, shaking his head, fingers beginning to fidget with his cuffs, as Gilbert had noticed was a nervous habit of his.

"It's…it's not like that."

"Yeah, right." The other boy snorted, and Alfred's hands started trembling and Gilbert decided that was enough.

"Look, I don't care if you were his friends, you're acting like assholes, and we're going. Come on, Al." He said, steering the boy away, noticing Matthew watching them, but he didn't move after them and Gilbert shot him a look over his shoulder as he brought Alfred over to the bathroom, leaning against a wall and pulling the shaking boy to his chest, not caring that he shouldn't be doing it or that they were in a public place, Alfred needed him right didn't say anything, just held him close, glaring at anyone who dared look their way, until he felt Alfred's body relax a bit, and then a soft murmur.

"I didn't want to stop hanging out with them…Dad didn't want me hanging out with them, 'c-cause Mattie and I shared a lot of friends. He doesn't want me seeing Mattie anymore."

"What? Why would he do something like that?" Gilbert frowned-he was liking Alfred's father less and less with every new thing he heard, and he had a feeling maybe the divorce hadn't been as clean as everyone thought it was, it seemed like there was more going on. Alfred bit his lip, his fingers gripping onto Gilbert's jacket.

"I dunno, he just…doesn't want me seeing Mattie, he says that it's bad for me, he wants me to focus on my schoolwork and stuff, made me quit baseball and football and stuff."

"What a dick move-no offense, kid, but it's stupid, not letting you see your brother? Matt cares about you, quite a lot actually, just because your Mom has custody I don't get why he wants you apart."

"He pushed for her to take custody." Alfred whispered, looking down again, fingers gripping tighter at the worn leather. "They fought about it a lot, before he made her leave, s-said he wanted her to take Mattie, but he wanted to keep me, he's always wanted me to follow his footsteps, be some big hotshot businessman, but it's never been what I wanted to do…"

"Is that why you…started doing what you did?" Gilbert said quietly, reaching down to take Alfred's hand in his, fingers trailing over the thin pink lines, frowning when he noticed one slightly more fresh, but he didn't say anything. Alfred swallowed and nodded, a soft sigh leaving his mouth.

"I…I couldn't take it anymore, Mom leaving and never seeing Mattie, having him always coming down on me to do my work, to not talk to my own brother, or Mom, and all my friends constantly trying to get me to be with them again when I can't. If Dad hears, I'll be in so much trouble…I just wanna see my brother again, I never wanted them to be apart, I loved Mom s-so much, and…"

Gilbert just wrapped his arms around him more, a bit awkwardly, not sure what to do or say as the boy started sniffling and dissolved into tears, so he just held him, rubbing his back a bit and keeping any curious onlookers from looking too long. This was a personal moment, and Alfred deserved respect, not people staring and laughing at his emotional pain, so Gilbert turned around to shelter him from it, hesitating before he pressed a kiss to the boy's temple.

"It's alright, Alfred-maybe it isn't, but there's always a way, you'll be an adult soon and you can get the hell out of there, you can do whatever you want. He can't tell you what to be, and he won't be able to tell you what to do-but don't think hurting yourself will help, okay? Because let me tell you, it sure as hell doesn't, it makes it worse, makes people pity you but shun you, think you're a damn freak just because you couldn't take it anymore."

"Like you?" Alfred whispered, looking up at him, blue eyes glossed with tears, and Gilbert paused-he hadn't meant to turn this about him, he didn't mean for it to come out like that, but he realized that maybe that's why this upset him, seeing Alfred like that, because he saw himself in him. He gritted his teeth, looking around, then he grabbed the boy's hand.

"Come on, let's get out of here, there's too many assholes starting, let's at least get outside, maybe my car or something."

Alfred nodded, letting Gilbert lead him outside, getting into his car, an old fixer-upper that Gilbert's brother had helped him find, both of them sitting down, quiet for a little while, Gilbert hardly even realizing that he'd taken Alfred's hand again, it just felt natural, holding onto his hand, like it was meant for it.

"…My Dad wasn't the greatest." Gilbert finally spoke up, looking down at his lap, not sure why he was even talking, but it was like the words were finally spilling out and he couldn't hold them back anymore. "When I was a kid, and even a teen, he'd get drunk, used to hit me with bottles, telling me I was…I was a fuck up, that he didn't know how a freak like me could've been his son. I used to tell him I didn't ask to be born this way, Doc's used to say it was some recessive trait or some shit, but I didn't care, because in his eyes I was just the freak that wasn't his son."

Alfred was quiet while he spoke, but Gilbert felt him squeeze his hand occasionally, his thumb brushing over the top of it absently as Gilbert continued, the words spilling like a door had been opened and he couldn't shut it.

"Of course I fell into the wrong crowd after that, I didn't care about anything, I wasn't worth shit, so I would get drunk, I'd get beat up, but y'know what they thought was the final straw? Burning myself-I've done worse, y'know, but no one thought it was worth anything. But one fucking teachers catches you with a few burns on your arm and suddenly it's loony bins and shit."

"Oh, Gilbert…" Alfred whispered finally, mouth opening and closing a few times, but he simply didn't know what to say. It was quiet for several minutes, the two of them just sitting there listening to cars and bustle around them, but it didn't bother them. Finally Alfred turned fully, looking into Gilbert's eyes and reaching up to cup his cheek.

"I don't think you're any of those things, unnatural, or a freak, or anything…when I first saw you I just thought that you were beautiful, I mean your eyes are such an odd color but they're just different, and your hair…" he hesitated before he reached up to run his fingers through it, smiling slightly. "It's just as soft as I thought it was. I don't think you're weird, or a freak, just different."

Gilbert looked at him, honestly surprised by the younger boy's words, no one had ever said such a thing to him, his whole life he'd felt like a leper in his own home, only his brother had shown him any kindness since their mother died, and now…now this boy, this Alfred, a boy just as broken as he was, and he didn't care about his stupid eyes or hair, and he was surprised just how much that meant. He threw his arms around Alfred's neck, hugging him, and after a moment he felt Alfred return the gesture. They sat like that for a long time, quiet, simply holding each other, but that was all they needed right then, to know they weren't alone in their pain, and when Gilbert eventually drove him home Alfred gave him a smile and a wave, and somehow he knew, the next day at lunch, he would talk, maybe not a lot at first, but he would. And that was enough for him.


	3. 3

"Gil, can I talk to you?"

Gilbert and Alfred both looked up, surprised to see Matthew standing next to their table, Alfred's gaze immediately dropped back down and he looked around, as if expecting their father to come down on him for even being near Matthew. Gilbert frowned, reaching under the table and squeezing his thigh gently, still looking up at his brother, nodding.

"Of course,Birdie-why don't you sit down?"

"Oh, ah, right, of course." Matthew said, hesitating briefly before he sat down next to Gilbert, smiling over at his brother but he didn't make any sign that he even noticed, pushing his food around his plate instead, suddenly seeming to lose his appetite. Gilbert glanced over at him, sighing softly and shaking his head.

"So, what'd you need, Mattie?"

"I just…wanted to see how things were going. I mean, I'm pretty sure you two are, ah, together at this point, yeah?" He smiled a bit nervously, and Gilbert chuckled, nodding, squeezing Alfred's thigh again.

"Yeah, I guess you could say we are, Birdie. So what, you gonna lecture me on my ways and tell me to keep my hands off your brother? Because I can tell you, I'm not fond of listening to other people."

"No, that's not it…I just want to give you my, ah, blessing I guess." Matthew said, smiling and glancing back over at his brother. "When I saw you two, at the mall the other day, it was…the happiest I've seen Al, since we were split up."

"Yeah, he told me about that." Gilbert murmured, feeling Alfred's hand reaching down to curl over his own and squeezing a bit, and he just squeezed it back. Matthew grimaced, looking over at Alfred, his mouth opening and closing several times before he could find something to say.

"I've missed you, Al." he blurted out, cheeks flushing a bit as he looked down at his lap, Alfred's head snapping up a bit at the surprise of Matthew addressing him. He didn't talk to him much at all these days, mostly because Alfred was scared of his father finding out, and Matthew hadn't really tried all too much to talk to him either. He was silent, though, looking back down without responding, and Matthew just smiled a bit sadly, looking back at Gilbert.

"I know your reputation precedes you, but I think that the way you've been with Al, at the Mall, taking him out like that and making him smile….that's something wonderful, and I don't want to stop you. I just want you to keep making him happy."

"I am happy, and I'm right here."

Matthew and Gilbert both looked over at him, Alfred's head lifted up and he was gazing right at them, his blue eyes shining with not quite anger, just determination.

"I'm tired of everyone talking about me like I'm not in the room, I'm not dumb, y'know, I'm not crazy! And I…I like Gilbert, Mattie, and I don't need anyone to tell me if I can be with him or not, not you or Dad or anyone, 'cause I wanna be with him!"

"And I'm happy for you, and I want you to be happy with him." Matthew said, smiling softly and hesitating before he reached over the table, resting his hand on his brother's shoulder. Alfred just looked back, not letting his gaze fall back to his lap as was the usual these days, he looked his brother right in the face, and then surprised both of them by smiling brightly.

"Y'know, I…I missed you too, Mattie."

"Oh, Al…" Matthew smiled warmly, standing up and going around the table, wrapping his arms around his brother, although his eyebrows furrowed when he looked down, reaching down to grab his wrist, running his fingers over the little marks, eyes widening. "It's true, isn't it? What everyone's said, you…you've been doing this to yourself, Al?"

Alfred bit his lip, looking down and nodding, Matthew's eyes instantly swimming with tears.

"Oh, Al, why didn't you tell me? You…you haven't even talked to me hardly, since mom and I left."

"Because I…I…" Alfred didn't want to say it, his father would be upset if he said anything to Matthew, let alone sitting here, in the crowded lunchroom hugging him, all these people watching….his father would be so upset, and suddenly he panicked, pushing Matthew away and tearing out of the room. Gilbert pushed back his chair to go after him, Matthew made a move as if to as well but Gilbert just turned around, shaking his head.

"Not now, Birdie, I should go after him alone, I don't think he'll want you to come after." He told him, and Matthew swallowed heavily, nodding and sitting back down, Gilbert noticing him burying his face in his hands as he ran off after Alfred, ducking into the bathroom where he figured he would be. Sure enough, he heard a sniffle from one of the stalls, and he knocked on it.

"Al? Al, unlock the door, it's me."

"N-no, Dad's…he's gonna be mad, he'll find out I was with Mattie!" Alfred whimpered, and Gilbert just pounded on the door a bit more, starting to get worried.

"Al, he won't know, you're worrying over nothing, just calm down."

"No, n-no, he'll be very angry, he…he says I can't be near Mattie."

"Al, how's he gonna know? Just please, open this door."

"Can't, Gil, I c-can't." Alfred said, his voice trembling, and Gilbert looked down, freezing when he saw little dots of red.

"Shit, shit-Alfred, open this door right now, what do you think you're doing?"

"I-I'm just makin' it go away again, Gil." Alfred whimpered, and Gilbert gritted his teeth, pounding on the door louder, glad no one else was in the bathroom right then, this was bad enough without an audience, but it was lunchtime and people would be coming in soon enough.

"Alfred, don't you fucking dare! You were doing so good, and this…this doesn't fix anything, damn it, Al! It doesn't fix a damn thing, all it does is hurt more and…and I don't want you to hurt like this, Al, I want to help you."

"Y-you can't help me…I just want it to go away, at least for a l-little while, all this pain, a-and not being able to see Mom or Mattie, and all these secrets and feelings and I just can't d-do this anymore!" he cried, a sob choking its way out of his throat, and Gilbert pounded both fists on the door, realizing they were trembling, but he didn't like this, didn't like feeling helpless.

"I can't let you do this, Al, I can't, I won't fucking let you hurt anymore, you understand? This won't make anything better, and you know that, so you stop this!" He shouted, his feelings coming out as they always did, in a rush and explosive, he didn't know how to control the intense worry and concern in his gut, and he slammed his hands onto the metal door, making it open with a bang. Alfred looked up, blue eyes wide and the small blade falling from his fingers as he scrambled back on the toilet seat, fingers fisting into his hair, little drops of red slowly falling down the tanned skin.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't be mad! I'm s-sorry, Gil, I…."

Gilbert didn't even say a single word, just rushing forward, wrapping his arms around the other boy, holding him close, his own frame trembling as tears slid down his cheeks.

"Don't you ever, _ever_, do that again, Al…fuck, you scared me, I thought my heart was going to fucking shatter into a million pieces, if you'd…if you'd done anything more, I don't know what I would've done, I…"

"Oh, Gil, I'm s-so sorry, I'm sorry!" Alfred choked, wrapping his arms around him in turn, rocking a bit as he tried to hold back his sobs. Gilbert just held him, wrapping his fingers around his wrist, not even caring if the blood got on his fingers, he just wanted to cover it up, to make it go away even if it really didn't do much of anything. They stayed like that awhile, until they heard the door open and they both started, Gilbert looking up, cheeks wet, pushing the door closed with his foot, muffling the other boy's quiet sobs in his shoulder, waiting for the person to go about their business and leave before he pulled back again, looking down at Alfred, hesitating before he leaned down and kissed the wet trails on his cheeks.

"Come on, let's get out of here, okay? I don't fancy spending all day in the bathroom, as fun as playing hooky is." He whispered, smiling slightly at the way Alfred's cheeks heated at the affection, and he nuzzled his nose a bit. "Quick, before I get sappy, cutie. We'll go get you some bandages, the Nurse is a friend of mine-well, I say friend-anyway, she won't tell, but we should get you patched up."

Alfred nodded, sniffling and scrubbing at his cheek with his free hand, letting Gilbert help him to his feet, wiping off his face with a paper towel and wrapping another around his wrist before he led him out. He'd half expected Matthew to be waiting by the door or something, but the boy must have figured he wouldn't be wanted just then, and he was a bit relieved. He didn't think Alfred could handle that right now, not right after his episode, and he shielded him from curious gazes as students flooded out of the lunchroom to their classes, leading him to the Nurse's office. She didn't say anything once Gilbert gave her a look, mouthing "I owe you one" before she grabbed some bandages and began wrapping them around Alfred's wrist, smiling as she taped them up.

"There you go, Alfred-I'll write you both a note for class, since I doubt you want this bringing any attention, yes?"

"Yeah, thanks again, Maria." Gilbert said, taking Alfred's hand and helping him up, not quite noticing the slightly amused look on the woman's face, chuckling and shaking her head.

"Of course, Gilbert, any time-now how about we get you two to class, hm?"

—

"Alfred?"

Alfred looked up at the soft voice, freezing, fumbling to try and push to his feet from where he'd been sitting on the steps at the front of the school waiting for his Dad.

"M-Mattie, what are you doing?"

"I'm talking to my brother. Which, legally, despite what dad says, I'm allowed to do." Matthew said quietly, smiling a bit morosely and looking Alfred in the eyes before he could look down, reaching down to take his hand, trailing his fingers up to his wrist that had the bandages around it. "Because no matter what he tries to tell you, you can be with me, and talk to me, and I still care about you more than anything, and I…I hate to see you hurt, like this, Al. I want to be there for you, like I used to, hug you and pinch your cheeks when you start blubbering like a baby, like you always used to."

"I do not." Alfred retorted without even having to think about it, and it just felt natural, right, just being with his brother again, and one corner of his mouth turned up slightly. Matthew just shook his head, reaching up to cup his brother's cheek so he could tilt his head back up in order to meet his gaze.

"No matter what, Al, you're my brother, okay? And that will never change, no matter what, and I'm going to make sure you know that, you won't have to keep hurting alone."

"I'm…I'm not alone." Alfred said softly, smiling slightly and shaking his head. "I've got Gil too."

"You do, don't you?" Matthew said, and he was surprised when Alfred threw his arms around him, squeezing him a bit, in a manner almost childish, but it made Matthew smile when he heard him whisper.

"But you'll always be my brother, Mattie."

—


	4. 4

A whole week passed after that incident, and Matthew sat with them at lunch now. He told Alfred he didn't care if the others thought it was wrong of him to ditch their table, he said they only hung around him mostly because he was his brother, and he didn't mind sitting with him instead. The first few times Alfred had looked close to a panic attack of some sort, always looking around, but Gilbert would simply turn his head gently so he would look at him instead, giving him a smile. One time he even startled him by kissing his cheek, and Alfred squeaked and abruptly turned bright scarlet, and Matthew just laughed and shook his head as Alfred batted at his shoulder a bit. He was getting more comfortable with Gilbert, though, letting him touch him, occasionally hold onto his hand or simply caress his cheek, sometimes even give him a hug after a therapy meeting or when they were leaving from school. Alfred didn't have another relapse after that, Gilbert made sure of it, he'd discretely check his wrists sometimes at school, pressing his lips to the little pink lines sometimes. He wasn't sure what to call their relationship, he knew that he cared for Alfred more than anything, and he had more than once had the urge to sweep the younger up in his arms and kiss him silly. He resisted, of course, he didn't want to push Alfred, he was too fragile, his state of mind wasn't sure and he didn't want to risk shattering the fragile love they had made together so far. One day, though, he had actually gotten Alfred to agree to come over to his house, he asked his father and everything and Gilbert waited, watching out the window, smiling when he saw the familiar truck drive up, practically bounding down the stairs, flinging open the door with a smile.

"Al! I'm glad you could come, I've got some really good games picked out that you'll like, I remembering you saying you liked ones similar anyway. Come on in, I got us some snacks and shit too."

"Ah, that sounds good!" Alfred nodded, smiling and turning around to wave at his father, who watched until they closed the door, Gilbert tugging Alfred into the living room, sitting him down on the couch before he ran to the living room, pouring a can of cola into one of the glasses he'd sat out while waiting for him. He brought it out, a long with a bag of Alfred's favorite chips (he knew because he sometimes had a little bag of them in his school bag to munch on, he thought it was absolutely adorable). Alfred looked up at him, his face lighting up as he handed them to him.

"Thanks, Gil!" He said with a smile, and Gilbert could practically feel his heart melting at the sight, and he kicked himself for even thinking such a sappy thought, it was ridiculous of him. He blamed Alfred for it, with those precious smiles that could break down even stone walls he was sure of it, and the little things he would do, like push up the bridge of his glasses or wrinkle his nose. Every little thing only endeared Gilbert to him more, and as he sat down and started to play the first video game he'd set up he realized that there was no one else in the world he would want to be with than Alfred and he stopped completely. Alfred laughed, that wonderful laugh that came straight from the heart, and he turned to look at him.

"Gil, you've gone and gotten yourself killed! What on earth are you-?"

"Please don't be mad at me, I just…damn it, I just…I love you, Al, okay? I love you a lot, and I've been thinking it but I didn't want to say anything because I'm sure as hell not romantic or anything, but I can't keep it in anymore because…because you're too precious to me." He flushed lightly, looking down, taking the control from Alfred's hand and setting it aside, ignoring the noises from the television. He could see Alfred watching him, his blue eyes confused and yet filled with something Gilbert couldn't quite explain, all he knew was it matched the feeling swelling in his heart as the words continued to pour out. "I wanted to know everything about you, and I still do, I wanted to wrap my arms around you and protect from this fucked up world the moment I saw you. But I didn't want you to be like the others, 'cause you're not, I would never want to leave you or be with you for just a couple weeks, I-"

"Gil, I know that."

"Huh?" Gilbert stared at him blankly, and Alfred just smiled, squeezing his hand and looking into his eyes, reaching up with his other hand to cup his cheek.

"I've known, since that day-well, maybe before. It's in your eyes, when you look at me, it's…gosh, I haven't found words for it, it's just like you only see me, a whole crazy world out there but you're always lookin' at little old me." Alfred chuckled when Gilbert sputtered a bit, looking rather embarrassed at being so easy to read, but Alfred just leaned up, nuzzling his nose a bit. "I like that about you, that I can read everything in your eyes."

Gilbert flushed, chuckling softly and rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

"I guess that wasn't exactly the smoothest way to ask a guy out, but….I think you got the jist of it, yeah?" He said, and Alfred shook his head, the smile still on his lips, and Gilbert felt that was an accomplishment in itself-until Alfred threw his arms around his neck and hugged it tightly, his warm breath tickling his neck, but Gilbert didn't mind one bit.

"Yeah, I think I got it." He murmured, and Gilbert felt his heart leap in his chest, wrapping his arms around the boy in turn. This was a much different hug than that time in the bathroom, it filled him with warmth from head to toe, and he pulled away slightly, looking down into Alfred's eyes in a way that could only be described as lovingly.

"Can I…? I mean, if you're okay with it, I don't want to-"

"Just kiss me, Gil, okay?" Alfred cut him off, laughing, and Gilbert didn't need to be told twice, he closed his eyes and leaned in, pressing his lips to Alfred's softly. It was wonderful, as far as first kisses go, it didn't need any special frou-frou's or fumbling awkwardly, it was sweet and simple, and Gilbert never thought he'd love such a thing more. He pulled away only briefly, a soft chuckle spilling from his lips, before he pressed them against Alfred's again. They didn't stop for several minutes, little sweet pecks or lingering, until Alfred finally pulled away, a warm smile on his face as he looked at Gilbert, lips and cheeks reddened.

"That was nice." He whispered, and Gilbert laughed, brushing his hair back from his forehead.

"Sure was, kid. Now come on, we've got zombies to kill, right?"

—-

"Hello, Alfred, how are you today?"

Liz smiled over at him, her hands folded over the folder in her lap. Gilbert knew what she wrote in there for Alfred, the same thing she wrote for him every day, probably; "No change". Gilbert brushed off her queries every time, usually with sarcastic or snarky remarks, but Alfred normally just shrugged or didn't answer entirely, choosing to play with the cuffs of his shirt instead or look down at his feet. But today was different, today Alfred's head was up and his eyes were trained on Gilbert, and then he just smiled, shaking his head.

"Y'know what, Miss? I think I'm doing pretty alright."

Some of the others in their little group looked up, if only at the surprise of hearing Alfred speak for the first time other than a word here and there. Liz looked pleasantly surprised as well, glancing over at Gilbert briefly before she turned back to Alfred, smiling fondly.

"That's good, Alfred, very good. Did something special happen?"

"I…yes, it did. I got a boyfriend, and he's-well, Miss, he's very special. See, he used to hurt too, and I kinda think he still does, but he knows how I feel, and he knows what to do to make it all go away."

Again Liz's gaze flashed over to Gilbert, who was watching Alfred intently as if surprised by his speech as well and didn't even notice, and suddenly she understood, and she smiled to herself before turning back to Alfred.

"And he's been able to help you, Alfred?"

"Yes, he…he has, very much." Alfred said, his voice quiet but gaining strength as he continued, as if some switch had been flipped and everything came pouring out. "A couple weeks ago, I wanted nothing more than to try and make everything go away, and just…but he stopped me, and he held me tight and I realized that it made everything better, more than causing myself pain ever would. And he….helped me realize that I was only hurting myself more, removing myself from everyone, scared of upsetting my father."

He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath, and Gilbert could see from across the circle that his hands were trembling a bit, and he wished he could go over and take them in his, but he had to let Alfred do this, it was a big moment for him. He knew it, too, he still hadn't opened up but he had to Alfred a bit, and he knew that maybe his own day would come too, but this was Alfred moment and all he did was send him an encouraging, soft smile. No one else said a thing, simply listening or not listening at all, wrapped in their own minds, but none dared to interrupt him because they all understood.

"They divorced because…my Mom had an affair. A long time ago, sixteen years actually, and Dad found out when Mattie got hurt and they had to do a blood test. He was a different blood type, Mom and Dad are both the same, and so am I…Dad was furious, and there were nights that Mattie would sleep in my room, because we were both so scared. Mom asked for the divorce because he forced her to, and he wanted her to…t-to take Mattie with her, saying he was no child of his and he didn't want to ever see him again. Mom wanted to take me too, and I wanted to go with her, but Dad said I was his, and he would raise me right, to be a good child that he could be proud of. He wouldn't let me see them, he said…he said that Mattie wasn't my brother and that at if I saw him again he'd get very mad. I was crushed, Mattie and I have been close our whole lives, he's not much younger than me and we had a lot of similar friends, but he…he made me stay away from them, made me drop all my sports and focus on academics because he'd be damned if I wasn't the best, he wanted me to be like him. I never wanted that, though…that's when I started, w-with the cutting, I'd always looked down on it before but I thought the pain would help. Then they caught me and, well…then I was here. But I just couldn't take all the pressure, not being able to be myself and losing Mattie and Mom, having Dad come down on me all the time, and I just….I hate it, so much, I want my Mom and brother back."

No one looked down on him as the blond burst into tears, but Gilbert finally got up, going over to crouch in front of him, taking his hand and squeezing it comfortingly, and no one said a word. After he'd calmed down Liz just turned, putting her hand on his shoulder and squeezing it.

"No one can really tell you who to be, Alfred, or who your family is. Matthew is still your brother, and I know no matter what he tells you you've known that in your heart. You'll be an adult soon, and he might be scared of that which is why he's pushing you so hard, but just know that you have to do what you believe in. He might be your father, but you have a right to determine what you do with your life, Alfred."

"And I'll be there to help you do that." Gilbert said, not loud enough for everyone to hear, but Alfred did because he looked up and smiled at him, and Gilbert squeezed his hand again.

"My Dad….he hated me, he thought I was a freak who didn't deserve to live in his house. When I started acting out, he didn't care, he wanted me to get in trouble because then he wouldn't have to deal with me." He started, and he thought Liz's eyes were going to bug out of her head, she looked so stunned, and he just closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, not even sure why the words were coming but they were, and he just looked into Alfred's eyes as he continued. "My Mom didn't care to stop him, she was too scared, so if he yelled at me or hit me, well, it was just what I deserved, neither of them wanted a kid born this way. But I didn't ask for it, for this stupid white hair and weird eyes, I didn't ask to be burnt the second I'm in the sun more than half an hour or any of this." He gritted his teeth, curling his other hand into a fist, taking a deep breath. "I've been called handsome once or twice, maybe hot, but the first time anyone's ever called my features beautiful was not too long ago. And that…well, that meant the world to me."

Alfred looked at him, his cheeks flushing a bit when he realized what he was referring to, and he smiled slightly, squeezing his hand, and Gilbert just brushed his thumb over his palm lightly. Liz just smiled, looking down at the folders on her lap and making a quick note.

"And have you realized, Gilbert, that they were wrong?"

Huh?" Gilbert looked over at her, and she just smiled and shook her head.

"There's no crime in simply being different, Gilbert, and just because you were born this way doesn't make you any less of a person. Alfred could see it-" Both of them flushed a bit, although it was pretty obvious they were together at this point they hadn't said it. "-and I think you're starting to see it too. It's not quite there yet, and I know you might both have a long way to go in healing, some things never really do honestly, but I think that you're on your way to it."

"Yeah, enough of the fancy talk, Lizzy." Gilbert said, although Alfred smiled softly when he saw that he was a bit flustered, probably just realizing how much of himself he'd put out there for the group to see, laid himself bare, and why? Just because Alfred had done the same, maybe he'd broken some dam inside him that had been holding all of that back, and maybe Liz knew that. It was her job after all, although she seemed pretty happy about it. The rest of the meeting went normally, only this time Gilbert sat at Alfred's feet, and if the blond's fingers occasionally went down to toy with the soft pale locks no one said anything. This time when they ended the meeting Liz passed by and patted his shoulder and squeezing it again, and he just shrugged it off but she noticed him smiling as he walked out, running down to catch up with Alfred. They threw their arms around each other, smiling and gazing into each other's eyes, and then Gilbert leaned in to kiss him again just like he had the other night, slow and sweet, a twinkle in his red-violet eyes as he pulled away.

"See you tomorrow, Al?"

"Of course, and every day after, Gil." Alfred said softly, laughing, his laughter light and airy and Gilbert couldn't resist scooping him back into his arms and placing another kiss on his lips. It wasn't perfect, their relationship, and sometimes there were days Alfred's father wouldn't let him out to see Gilbert and they would just have to live with that, knowing Alfred would be eighteen and out of there soon. Gilbert still checked his wrists, only not so frequently, and if he caught him with any marks he would simply kiss them away and talk to him, try to find out what had happened that time. And there were days that Alfred would find Gilbert glaring into the mirror, and simply quiet and sullen, and he would hold him and tell him it was alright, that he loved him and kiss his temple, brushing his fingers through his soft hair and kissing both eyes, and he would remind him that to him there was no one more beautiful. Eventually, they were told they "Graduated" from their group therapy, and they didn't have to go anymore, but Liz told them they could come back to see her anytime, and gave them both a big hug, saying she was proud of them and wished them happiness. And they found it, somehow, despite everything that happened, they made it, and while neither was perfectly alright, they wouldn't want it any other way.

A/N: Aaaand that's the ending! A bit lame, I apologize, but yeah, here it is, thanks for sticking around and reading it!


End file.
